One hundred smiles

Will has now come into the smiling phase, which is great. So much fun. He smiles all the time, especially right after he eats, during his waketime. We have started to play games with him and he loves it: peekaboo and patty cake and itsy bitsy spider and nose beeping. I find myself making all kinds of strange noises, pops and clicks and whirs, and he just stares at my mouth wondering where the sounds come from. He is also starting to talk to himself and to Peacock, very clear oohs and "AIII". Very cute.

Video Crazy

Now that I've got this video thing figured out, it's hard not to go a little crazy. I love making videos. Here is the week in summary:

A bath a day

Today I figured out how to take video with my nice camera, so above is a little video of Will after his bath from YouTube. He is such a sweetie. He doesn't mind baths at all, just appears concerned when I wash his hair or if he gets water in his eyes. But afterwards, when I am drying him off, he usually cries. I thought he was just cold, so today I ran the heater and heated the towels and his outfit beforehand and. . .it worked! He was fine, in fact he really liked the heater blowing his hair.

My days are amazingly satisfying if I can just keep figuring things out, simple things like how to keep him happy after his bath. How to feed him so he doesn't choke. That sort of thing.

Attack of the Mom Hair

So today Will is 6 weeks old. I went in to the OB for my wellness visit, and everything looked good, all healed. It was so weird being in the doctor's office in my new, non-pregnant state, among all those women who are still waiting to have their babies. In the last week, in order to prepare for this time when I would have to leave the baby home alone with John, we introduced Will to his first bottle. This was more nerve-wracking for me than I thought it would be. I finally had to just GET OUT of the apartment while John gave Will the bottle and let go of all the little worries I had (will he get enough to eat, will he still like nursing from me, etc. . .). I ended up at Target, in the magazine section, picking out a new hairstyle for myself.

So yesterday I thought it would be fun to go to the mall with John and Will and I would get a new haircut, something short and low maintainance, since there are days now when it is hard to even get a shower in the morning. John expressed some concern about toting Will around the mall, but as it turns out the combination of noise, people, lights, colors, and movement is more than the little guy can take and he konked right out. Meanwhile, I sat watching 6 inch chunks of my hair falling on the floor. The stylist assured me with glee that, given the right tools, my new style would be a cinch to get through in the morning. After 45 minutes I was a new woman, and I bought all the right tools to get the look myself and we whisked ourselves out of the mall just as Will was waking up.

It was not until we got home and I got a long, hard look in the mirror, that I realized what had happened. I now have Mom Hair. In a flash, I went from this

(maternal-but-still-young-and vibrant) look, which I am sure Will will look back on me in the photos and exclaim, "Mom, how young and pretty you were back then!" to this:

Mom hair. Mom hair, mom hair, mom hair! It is not that I don't like the haircut. I do. It's functional and cool, Will doesn't get his fingers stuck in it, and it's not constantly falling in my eyes. I actually like it better today without all the hairspray and hooplah that I spent an extra $30 to be sure I could duplicate. But I don't think I was ready to see, when I look in the mirror, Cindy the mommy.

What's a Peacock?

Will and I at Stanford

The weather has been beautiful here lately, perfect for walking. John and I took Will to Stanford to walk around, right around sunset, which was great. We have also been seeking out new parks to go to, and so far we've taken Will to two parks that are less than a mile from our house. He sleeps in the stroller during our walks, except when you go inside. It's so fun, one of those activities that makes us feel like a family.

Will is five weeks old today. He is changing so much. Just in the last few days, I have especially noticed a difference in him. He is engaging more with the world, looking around, looking into our faces, trying to figure things out. See the picture below of him looking at Peacock. Peacock is wildly colorful, has a mirror in the middle of it, and each surrounding feather has something rolly or crinkly or noisy in some other way. Will has been known to stop crying to examine Peacock, which means that we always have it close at hand. He is also enjoying the swing a lot more, and often goes to sleep in it.

Breastfeeding, which has been such a struggle since about the second week, has settled into its own rhythm. Now it is almost easy. I understand now why all the books tell you to stick it out for at least 6 weeks. Still, there are feedings where Will seems upset afterwards, and cries for a while, and I feel so bad for him. I called my pediatrician about it and she said it was probably colic and would last another 6 to 8 weeks. Sigh. Yes, I am one of those mothers who calls the pediatrician with a list of questions. This weeks questions went like this: I explained his behavior after eating, asked if there was anything I could do (she said there wasn't, besides burping him regularly and keeping him upright after he burps), I asked when I should first introduce him to a bottle with breastmilk in it (she said now was fine, but she usually recommends between 6-8 weeks), I asked if it was a problem if he hadn't pooped in more than 24 hours (she said it was normal, some babies go days without pooping), and I asked about his eye, which still has a blocked duct and is a little gummy (she said it would clear up on its own--keep doing the nose stroking exercises she showed me). And that was that--questions answered. The call took all of 3 minutes.

Yesterday I finally received my Maya wrap in the mail. This is a special piece of fabric sewn into a sling so you can wear your baby and have some freedom with your hands. It took me an hour to figure out how to thread it and wear it. Then I put Will inside and he immediately wanted to nurse, which was so cool because I could feed him standing up, hands free! Then he went right to sleep, looking very content. I think the wrap makes him remember the womb.

Will contemplates Peacock

One Month Ago

This is March 6, which would make Will exactly one month old today. One month ago I woke up at 5 am with him still in my belly (it's unbelievable now, looking at him, that he was small enough to fit inside me!) and right now he is sleeping peacefully in his bassinet.

His umbilical cord finally fell off, so we gave him his first bath a couple of days ago. He was very cute about it. When I first put him in the water he startled and flailed his arms out, cried a little, and then very quickly quieted down and experienced the bathtub. It all went very well until right at the end, when John and I heard this funny noise and suddenly there was all this poop in the bathtub! I said, "Now what do we do?" and we ended up lifting him out and cleaning him off like a sponge bath. Afterwards I sat on the couch toweling off his hair (see picture above), and he was so awake and so sweet, just looking around, contemplating life.

It's funny how quickly you get used to the way things are, like nights with little sleep. Will is often fussy in the afternoon and early evening, crying after he eats like he's in pain. Then he seems so tired but will not fall asleep. He just cries and cries. I can feel my blood pressure rising when he cries like that. I don't know if it's the dreaded C word-- COLIC-- or something else. I usually spend the evening, when he is finally asleep, strategizing ways to help him come tomorrow. I am thinking of cutting dairy out of my diet (which I have done several times in my life, as I am lactose intolerant) and see if that helps. I drink peppermint tea which is supposed to ease digestion. I read books about baby massage. John and I just bought a Maya wrap, a sling to carry him in, which is supposed to be very comforting to fussy babies.

Still, for all that, I am enjoying my time with him. He's a good baby and I love him to pieces. John and I both do. It always melts my heart just watching John hold him.