Fear of a ham sandwich

A couple of days ago I walked to a bistro near my work, feeling hungry for once. And I got a huge craving for a ham sandwich. So I ordered one: about an inch of deli honey ham, 2 pieces of Swiss cheese, a little mayo and mustard, lettuce, tomato, and pickles on whole wheat bread. It was delicious. It was nutritious. And afterwards I became very nervous that a ham sandwich might kill my baby.

There are a number of things you learn to fear in pregnant life if you read any books on the subject: hot baths, cleaning chemicals, hair dye, West Nile virus, nail polish, hot dogs, runny eggs, rare steak, and yes folks, deli meat. This is only made worse if you look at anything on the internet. We live in a culture of fear, a world of hidden poisons and tragic accidents, and a pregnant woman in this culture often can't help but become even more afraid then usual.

I looked up deli meat on the internet. Almost every pregnancy site says to avoid deli meat because of a slight chance of contracting listeriosis, a bacteria that last year infected 2,500 people in America. This is alarming, and the sites are quick to add that pregnant women are 20 times more likely to contract this infection than regular people. The message boards are pretty evenly split, with about half of the women on them claiming that they ate Subway sandwiches every day and have three healthy children, and the other half telling us to stay away from the cursed meat. There are always two or three people who post that they got listeriosis and lost their baby. Just think, said one person who posted, is a turkey sandwich really worth risking the life of your child?

I read these words directly after eating what might have been the best ham sandwich of my life. And I immediately felt so guilty, so fearful, like I was already a bad, irresponsible mother. But then I tried to remember the real people in my life, instead of the internet phantoms. My friend Wendy, who ate turkey sandwiches, colored her hair and probably had an occasional hotdog, who gave birth to two beautiful, near-to-perfect baby girls. And my doctor (who I did remember to ask about deli meats) who said that almost anything is safe is moderation.

Almost anything.