2 Weeks

Will was 2 weeks old yesterday, which was amazing to me. The time is already passing so quickly. We took Will in for his wellness check and he weighed 7 lbs, 5 oz, which is wonderful. At the hospital he had dropped (as babies usually do) from his birthweight of 6 lbs, 11.5 oz to 6 lbs, 4 oz. The goal in the first 2 weeks is to get them back up to their birthweight, so Will has done really well. This was a relief to me, because I have had a little bit of trouble breastfeeding. I have too much milk, and it comes out so fast that it chokes him as he starts to drink. Before I figured out what was wrong there was a lot of tension every time he ate, with him flailing and pulling away from me for several minutes before he would settle down and eat. So it was truly a relief that he was getting enough nourishment.

We have days that go well and days that are hard. Yesterday, with the Dr. appointment and several good breastfeeding sessions, went well. Last night he didn't really want to go back to sleep after he ate, didn't want to eat for a long time so much as snack, and didn't want to be put down in his bassinet or his Boppy. It was a long night, and I woke up this morning feeling a bit exhausted and frustrated. And the morning didn't go much better.

This motherhood stuff is hard. I love Will so much, and I want more than anything to provide a stable, healthy environment for him. I try to be positive. I look at him and my heart just melts. It doesn't really take much to get my equilibrium back. This afternoon we got in one good feed, where Will ate for more than 20 minutes, and then I gave him a bath, and he was so alert after that and we spent some quality time together where I held him and sang to him until he got sleepy, and then put him in his Boppy where he has been sleeping peacefully ever since. And then I got the house straightened up and dinner on the stove, and I could take deep breaths again.

Soon he will wake up, and we will start it all over again, the eating, cuddling, diaper change, sleeping and so on. And in this way the days will continue to fly by and we will learn together how to make it work. I am reading this book (see below) about how our cultures shape the way that we parent. It is an excellent book, comparing many different cultures and the outcomes of the differing parenting styles on infants. It is making me see a lot of things in different ways, and consider a lot of methods I hadn't before. For instance, the book looks in depth at the idea of sleeping with your baby. I guess more than 80% of the world's population sleeps with their babies, and the book claims that it is very good for the baby because they learn to breathe by mirroring your breathing. I am still nervous to sleep with Will, though, because I am afraid of rolling over onto him or him suffocating in the blankets.